Excuse me sir, please keep your boobs away from me. Hurray beach season has begun!
It’s been a bit since I’ve written anything. Similar to my cheese consumption, when I write I binge, gorge and stuff myself full until the mere thought of it makes my throat close. I need to space my writing/cheese intake out.
Steve had a CAT scan on June 17th. Things “looked good.” June 17th was also Dr. Vollmer’s last day working at Beth Israel. We’ve already consulted with his replacement. I don’t feel comfortable cutting ties all together, seeing how Steve’s track record has been full of bumps and bruises. Steve told Dr. V that he has been concerned with the fact that “he can’t seem to run as fast as he used to.” To which Dr. V replied, “Run fast? Why are you running never mind running FAST?” He didn’t realize that when he told Steve he had full rein to exert himself that he was opening an archway to anarchy. Dr. V’s instructions were to exercise, exert but don’t overload. Steve has been going to the gym 4 times a week, fixing his car and playing on a softball team. The conundrum I’ve come to face is that I can’t tell him to stop. I can’t tell him to stop because 1.) After everything he has been through, from the pain and struggle of wondering whether he would ever be the same to the physical fortitude he expressed in order to get to the place he is today and 2.) Who am I? That brings me back to my ongoing conundrum I’m not his mother, or his nurse or his guardian. I’m his wife. I’m my own person with my own existence. Throughout the past 2 years it’s been easy to take the focus off of me and onto Steve. Having someone else to worry about is manageable, controllable if you will. Focusing on you is labor intensive and demanding, but so worth it.
I’ve been busing myself with activities I enjoy. Beaching my bod, warding off a hacksaw toting rodent intruder who ate a 1.5 lbs. bag of Jack’s dog treats in 1 day, reading as many Stephen King novels as I can until I’m too scared to look in my closets when alone in the house. It’s been a nice summer so far and hopefully I can continue doing me in order to make it a great summer. That’s right everyone be sure to do you frequently and fervently. I’ll do the same.
